Ninja as Child - #19 - Secret Clubs Part 2

Continuing the story of Mike and Rodney:

Mike has a car magazine and Rodney is standing by him, quiet as usual, looking over at every other page. "Check this one out. The wheels turn 90 degrees so you can park sideways."

They continue to talk about the cars--the conversation withers as I stare at Rodney's shirt. There's nothing special about the shirt itself. I'm actually staring right through his stomach. Suddenly, my fist is at my focal point and Rodney is keeled over, grabbing at his intestines, trying to gasp for air. Mike lowers the car magazine, unaware of what just happened.

"Did you just punch him?"

I'm stunned. I don't know what just happened.

"Wow," Continues Mike. "You O.K., dude?" He grabs his brother and helps him back to their apartment, leaving me shaking my head, wondering why I just punched my friend.

Today, I'm the secret club of the Lonely Fist.

Ninja as Child - #18 - Secret Clubs Part 1

I'm 7 years old and we are moving back into the Sunny Brae Garden Apartments in Arcata, CA. The buildings are the kind of salmon pink you get after a decade of sun wash over a bad idea. These apartments are where I would learn how to skateboard, play video games, tear the legs off of Water Striders, talk about girls in "that way", and, best of all, to form secret clubs.

There were a few other kids around. My brother, of course, two years older and always the wiser, made connections over every child's mutual love, the Nintendo Entertainment System, which we got as a joint present from our grandparents at the previous x-mas. I too used the power of gaming to join social engagements but I had a penchant for the trees and wandering around in secret or unexplored locations.

Mike and Rodney were also brothers. Rodney was the same age as my brother but Mike was a whopping 4 years my senior. Together they were like ancient sage travelers, come to impart wisdom on the unfortunate inexperienced. I made a habit of knocking on their door almost daily.

They would wander with me and we would talk about the birds and bees, and everday, it would seem, we had some new secret club, which was probably my idea after a while--always trying to create consistent patterns.

On this day, we find ourselves lurching through the rain soaked blackberry vines until we all stand staring down at a dead cat.

"Is it dead?" - Me

"I think it's dead." - Rodney

"Yeah, dude, it's fucking dead." - Mike

This is where Mike picks up the cat by the tail and whips it around like he's a human windmill, letting go right at the apex. It soars, spinning out through the sky, beyond the blackberry bushes, until nobody can see where it might land. The second it vanishes from view, someone makes a sound, "reeaooowww!" For a second I think that it was the dead cat, but I remember that thing about dead animals not being able to talk. I piss a little in my pants with a keeled over, gut-clenching cackle befitting a lunatic. This is the first time I remember letting my bladder go at a joke. I mosey on, slightly behind my friends, inspecting my zipper for wetness, embarassed and worried that my social faux pas might be spotted. As we saunter back to the apartments, I whisper, "Hey, now we're the Dead Cat Club."

I miss you, Koala girl

I almost didn't see you today. When I woke up, you were still asleep. We spent a few minutes together before I left for work at 9am. I kissed you goodbye and you didn't even know I was leaving. I missed you all day. When I got home at 8pm, you had already gone to bed. I ran upstairs to see if I could say goodnight and there you were, eyes closed, laying with your mama. When you opened your eyes and looked up at me, you smiled and laughed with more joy than I've ever seen in someone's face. Thanks for that, sugar bear. My face is yours to grab; my tongue for you to pinch; my ears for you to swing on; my shoulders for you to climb; my heart for you to keep.
Now go to sleep ;)

Letter to Code Name Alice Re: Mumbai

Life is hard. I'm not going to lie to you, baby girl. Someday things are going to be really difficult. I can't stop that. All I can do is give you the ninja skills necessary to take on some of the challenges you will face. But you will face challenges that even the greatest ninja skills cannot overcome.

I think about these things when you reach up and wrap your little arms around my neck, squeezing me out the biggest baby-bear hug you can muster. I know you are really trying to eat my neck but I like to think of it as a big hug. I could hug you all day. And I think of this also when I hear of bad things happening--things that someday soon, you will have to face.

Bad things are happening as I write this. People are dying. People are killing other people. It's crazy. It's just madness. I can't explain it to you; All I can say is that it is. These things happen.

Photo from AP Photo by Rajanish Kakade: 8 hours ago: Pigeons fly near a flame from the Taj Hotel hotel in Mumbai, India, Thursday, Nov. 27, 2008. Teams of heavily armed gunmen have stormed luxury hotels, a popular restaurant, hospitals and a crowded train station in coordinated attacks across India's financial capital Wednesday night, killing at least 82 people and taking Westerners hostage, police said.

Even a ninja has to choke back some tears at the intense madness of these events. But good things happen too. There is still so much beauty and wonder in the universe. I don't regret bringing you into this world. It's awful at times but it's also fantastic and fun and enlightening.

You have this power. You can change the world. It's in your laugh. That's the most powerful ninja tool you have. Whatever happens, as long as I live, I'll be here to work out these things with you. Even though laughter won't save you through times like this one, I'll be here to give you that bear hug and we can cry a bit together and we will make it through.

These things too shall come to pass.

Photo from Reuters Pictures 3 hours ago: Firemen try to douse a fire at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai November 27, 2008. At least 101 people have been killed in attacks by gunmen in Mumbai, police said on Thursday.