Thursday, July 31, 2008

Wii Fit Ninja

According to Wii Fit, I am an unbalanced yoga master. How can this be, you ask?
Apparently, yoga masters are not so good at skiing. Yoga masters are really good at breathing and standing still, just like ninjas.

I'm the Sleep Deprivation Ninja, I don't ski. So why couldn't you just say that I'm a ninja, albeit lacking sleep? Was my ninjutsu not good enough for you?
Here's how it played out:

Sleep Deprivation Ninja: "Breathing huh, I can do that." [breaths]
Wii Fit: "You are a Yoga Master."
SDN: "Tell me something I don't know. Let's try some other games..."
SDN: "phew, that skiing is a bitch."
Wii Fit: "You are Unbalanced."

This is where my two month old apprentice says, "Bust out the Shinobi daddy!"
Yes, she's two months and she can talk. She is so badass, when she was born, she c-sectioned herself out of the womb with her awesome ninja claws and stitch her mom back up with nothing but mental force of will. Give that a vision for a sec; it won't be nearly as awesome as reality.

Anyway, so without thinking, sleep deprived as I am, I flick my wrist and the wiimote spins in a death shot toward our HDTV. In retrospect, I would have breathed a little before listening to my daughter, as any good ninja would do. But I am the Sleep Deprivation Ninja, I act on instinct.

Luckily, my skilled apprentice learned to fly last week and she zips up to the TV, just in time to catch the wiimote in her mouth. Then she lands on the Wii balance board:

Wii Fit: "You are a Zen Ninja"


Tootsie Farklepants said...

You're a ninja genius. I'm adding you to my blogroll.

Jasper Mockingbard said...

Ha ha!

califmom said...

My Wii Fit just asks if I know why I gained weight since the last time I used it. Um, because I don't like your tone, Wii Fit. I eat more and move less to spite you.