Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Top Reasons I Love Being a Dude

Going out on a date:

"I'm reeaaaady... how 'bout you?"
"You're ready, already?!"
"Yeah, I'm a dude. You're still half naked!"
...
"I guess that gives me time to pee... STANDING UP! Bam!"
...
"You didn't shave."
"Nope, I'm going for the rugged look. That's low maintenance, baby!"
"OK, Mountain Man..."
"Mountain man?! This is urban winter!"
"Hey, when you eat, does your face-dog try to steal your food? It must get hungry trying to upkeep that kind of mass."
"Hey, you're ruining my list."
"Your what?"
"Forget it."
...
"Ooh, your hands are warm!"
"Snap! That's 'cause I'm a man. My extremities are always warm."

3 comments:

Anthony said...

My boyfriend's extremities are rarely warm...

'That Girl' said...

What's up w/ that? Why IS that? My husband's feet are ALWAYS warm..even when I stick my little ice-encrusted toes up to them at night.

Sleep Deprivation Ninja said...

LOL. That's becuase you go for the tall skinny ones, Anthony ;)

And, 'that Girl', it's all about the survival of the human race. Genetically, women need all there blood and warmth in their uterus. Whereas I need to be able to gut a 7 headed deamonfish with my pinky. That takes a warm finger.