Thursday, October 9, 2008
Classified: Nemesis Wanted
Married, 29yo. father of 1, Sleep Deprivation Ninja, who enjoys trans-dimensional walks on the beach, seeks Nemesis who is willing to join the occasional bar brawl, write snarky emails and hit on my wife (you don't stand a chance). Applicant must be willing to shed a tear at my funeral. If your Archenemy attempts to take your life, SDN will intervene. Nemesis must be willing to reciprocate action if ever needed (but not likely).
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7 comments:
would I *really* have to hit on your wife? I mean, would the prospective candidate have to hit on your wife? Say, if they were otherwise occupied hitting on their own significant other/life partner/girl crush/husband and/or their hypothetical door don't swing that way anyway? I mean I'm sure she's a Jolie look-a-like goddess of hottitude and all, and like, I wouldn't want to dis your shorty or anything. But, I'm just sayin', ya know, cuz, yo, you might get some really hip takers, ya know, if you loosened up the requirements. Totally.
I could loosen up that requirement. That part is really not so important as the others anyway :)
I've always wanted to be someone's nemesis. Maybe I should just change my ID to Princess Nemesis Wanna Be, and wear that for a while to see how it feels before I throw my hat in the ring. I'm afraid my inner SDN worshipper would battle with the nemesis alter ego and it would all go horribly horribly wrong. You'd end up with a puddle of lame ironic urban dictionary one liner sarcasm at your feet, floating with an oily sheen of pathos.
So I guess this is a big fat nevermind. Except for the hitting on your wife part.
Can I still worship you anyway?
I think it's very important to have a nemesis. Even I have one. We never come in contact though (a good thing), we just hate each other silently.
Once I get my orbital laser assembled though...
I'm so down, bring. it. on!!
@jamez2, my ego can never turn down a faithful worshiper.
To all other applicants, if you are interested in being my nemesis, just start trying. We'll see how good you are.
You know I'm your nemesis. Don't even try to play me off like that. I think what you are really lacking is a solid Archenemy. I mean, damn, I'm going to have to take your wife out tomorrow night just to show you who's boss.
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