Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Instant Purified Water

OK, that's it. It's over. It's officially over.

Everyone is still working at the company that just laid us all off. We're working for stock options during this little financial meltdown period. To limit liabilities, the board of directors came down with an order to lay everyone off, cash out all debts to employees, limit all financial liabilities (limit translates to eliminate) and made sure we were all OK with that. Yeah, I was OK with that.

But today, I go back into the kitchen to freshen up my glass of water with some of the UV purified, icy output of the hot/cold water machine only to find that the awesome black box that was there an hour ago has now vanished. They sold the freaking water machine!


That's it. No instant hot tea. No hot or cold water of the so fresh and so clean variety.

I now sink into an abysmal pool of unfiltered dispair. No! Wait. That's not how a Ninja goes down!

Grrr.... *inner peace* Grrr... *zen calming* Grrr... *psychic Gatling gun, derailing my tranquility train*

The office explodes in a flurry of papers and computer disks as people begin to twirl and twist into a spiraling wormhole in my soul. My turmoil is too great for the fabric of spacetime. All carbon substance compresses into diamond streamers as people, desks, walls all rip apart and smash together, fighting for their place in line at the entry to the abyss. Soon, the 30% of office workers that is not water has been removed from reality. All that remains is pure, filtered water. I zap the floating bubbles of liquid as they hover in the air, waiting for me to slurp them dry.


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