Thursday, August 28, 2008

Product Review [unpaid]: Heelys

Ok, I don't get paid for this but some ninja gear is just so cool, I've got to blag about it.
Heelys are just that kind of gear:

Typhoon model - Sizes: 12C - 6 Youth, 7 - 12 Men's

Awesomaciousness:

I've had a pair of these for a few years now and they rule. I run up escalators and then *BAM*, I'm rolling at lightning speed. It freaks people out. So ninja. Kids love them. I'm sure you've seen those kids around wearing them at the zoo and wherenot.
Yeah, they're so cool, you can make up words when you wear them--I'm wearing them right now! With adult sizes up to Men's 12, most moms and dads can partake in the fun. Don't just get a pair for your kids, wuss.

Warning-ocity:

  1. The first week I had them, I sped down this killer hill at about 20MPH, totally ignoring the warning that you should never heel faster than you can cartwheel (18MPH is my max). I hit a spread of gravel and spent the next few hours plucking stones out of my arms.
  2. You do have to walk on your toes when not using the wheel. So, you can feel a little like you are wearing high heels--but it's worth it when you can jam passed those slow-ass peds and weave around them with the slick finesse of a balarina (actual experience may vary).
  3. If you are not a ninja, you should probably wear a helmet. And armguards. And kneeguards. And full body armor.
Now, if only I can rid my mind of the surfer-dude voice I've been using to construct my un-ninja-like enthusiasm for this piece of ubanacious badassery*.

* I think BHJ coined badassery

6 comments:

jenboglass said...

A guy in my office wears them. To work. He wonders why he is continually passed up for promotion. He's sweet so I won't knock him. That would be like kicking a puppy.

Sleep Deprivation Ninja said...

I am the envy of my coworkers. I fly to the kitchen and back. I weave around people on their way to the men's room and cut in front. It rules. But, in my industry, the more offbeat you are, the more likely you are to get a promotion :)

cIII said...

I'm totally getting those.
When flip-flop season comes to a close, of course.
I'm picturing me shaving 15-20 minutes off of my grocery shopping time.

Sleep Deprivation Ninja said...

Seriously, these are awesome in grocery stores, Costco, Home Depot, any place with nicely laminated or paved walkways :)

Captain Dumbass said...

Damn, I thought they only came in kids sizes. This changes things.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

If I wore these I would die. Dead. From all of the blunt head trauma.